Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Really, That's What You Want Me to Do God?

How is God Messing with You?

That is the question that we’ve been asking our Sunday morning bible study group every week as we go through the book, Joining Jesus on His Mission - How to Be an Everyday Missionary by Greg Finke. That question popped in my head as I watched a Beth Moore video during my Tuesday morning women’s bible study. 

As we went through the session Beth said things like, “My purpose is beyond me” and “get out there even if you are not sure you are going to be good at this.” Why did those hit me? Why was sitting there thinking, “Okay, God, I hear you?"

Because I have a strong (I mean STRONG) tendency to sell myself very short.  I still believe that while I love to write that my talent is still lacking (I mean have you seen my than and then mistakes?)

So, it appears that God is trying change that train of thought and therefore really messing with me. 

Yesterday, I received an email from The Mom Expo that pretty much said, “we would like you to be a part of our upcoming event.” I knew this was coming, but I really thought that as a mom blogger in our area that I would get maybe some free tickets to the event. I never in a million years expected to be invited to have a complimentary booth and for them to setup a meet and greet event.  The email said that this would be a great opportunity to meet my readers in person. I thought, “What? My readers? My mom will be out of town, so I don’t know who would show up to see me.” I was having some serious “I am not worthy” thoughts happening. “Did they even read my blog? Did they mix me up with someone else?”

While I was over the moon excited for the invite and was seriously scared to death. What would I do? What would I wear? What would I say? Can I pull this together by the end of the month? 

Matt, being the ever supportive husband, said, “you can do this and you have time to prepare.” The first step was to see if I could find childcare since he had something scheduled for that day. 

I hate to say that on the first hiccup in childcare I was like,”this wasn’t meant to be…maybe next year.” Truly, though, my calendar is crazy for September since Shelby is in day long theatre practice, so even if I did the leg work to find someone to watch the littles I would still have scheduling conflicts with Shelby. 

I went to bed last night a bit bummed, but at the same time okay with the idea of still partnering with The Mom Expo, but not making the show this time. I was good, no mixed feelings about my decision. 

Then, this morning, as I sat all unassuming in bible study God decided to mess with me. As Beth Moore talked about getting our of our comfort zone and how she (yes even Beth) looked herself in the mirror with doubt I thought, did I give up too easy? Am I holding myself back out of fear? Is this the outlet that God has called me to? 

Yes, in the scheme of things I am still a pretty small blogger with an average of about 2,000 views a month (just wanted to throw that out there incase that means anything to you), but really how am I going to get my message out to other if I do not put myself in areas that are uncomfortable? Because that is my goal, right? My calling? 

Answers: You’re not - You have to as Beth Moore says, “live beyond yourself.” And then, yes that is my goal to get my message of hope and restoration and the fact that we are all broken to others. And yes, as you know from being a reader I strongly believe I have been called to share my message through my writing. 

So, as we wrapped up the class today I was very bummed. Did I miss this opportunity? Was I going to regret the email I sent last night forever? Oh man, what had I done - why did I let my feelings of “not being a good enough” outweigh what I was called to do? I was having a big ‘ole pity party. 

Then, I got the email. The email that said, “Well, can you do our next event in February?” and I knew that God has a plan for me through this event. He is ready to show me what living beyond myself looks and feels like. Good thing I will have all of Beth Moore’s knowledge between know and then - do you think that God could give me her speaking ability as well? 

Tell me this - How is God messing with you right now? 

Is He asking you to step out of your comfort zone to fulfill your calling? 

Keep an eye out for more information about The Mom Expo coming up in Houston this month and also an opportunity to join me in the Woodlands early next year! 

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