Monday, December 17, 2012

It Stinks, but that's Life.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Colossians 3:13

It was easy to type, but harder to do this morning. I personally find that it’s people closest to you that can hurt you the most by their words and actions.

I’m having trouble finding the words to describe the hurt I faced this weekend – hurt that was heaped upon me by someone close to me. It would be so much easier for me to just air all my dirty laundry in this situation, but I don’t feel that would make things better.

So, I’m being told by JAG and by the Holy Spirit that I must be the bigger person. I must see that when people are hurting they have a tendency to lash out and hurt other people. My hesitation and my fear is am I seeing today the truth of who this person is or is this just a manifestation of the sadness and stress in this person’s life?  That is the difficulty I am pondering. If it is the truth of who this person really is then I am not sure if this is the right fit for me.

I find myself thinking

Wow, has she always thought this about me and is just now getting up the nerve to unleash it on me?

Has she been nicer to me then what she actually is and I am just now seeing how truly mean should could be? Can I handle it if she is that mean? Is that the type of person I want to get close to?

But back to forgiveness – I still must forgive that this person hurt me. Then from there I proceed with caution, right? I just can’t believe that in a short period of time – in one tacky text message my friendship was altered. She made the comment and I altered the friendship in protection of myself – my heart.

I wish, as with many of my posts, that I could sum it up with some this up with some words of wisdom – a final this is what I did and it worked, but I am stuck in the middle of this uncomfortable funk and all I can do is forgive the actions that were done to me and pray for guidance. It stinks, but that’s life.

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