Thursday, October 25, 2012

A Little Insight on Me

If you know me personally you know that I have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). We are not talking a “oh man I feel so ADD today” kind of way, it’s a true diagnosed kind of way. I was diagnosed as an adult about seven years ago, but looking at my life growing up I’ve always had it. Since I was a quiet child and didn’t show any signs of ADHD then the school just classified me as lazy or not in the mood to pay attention. The truth is I was never able to actual read a chapter book cover to cover until I was almost 30 years old. Kind of sad to think about it now, but things happen. 

To give some of you medical people some back ground for the first five years of my diagnoses I was on 10 milligrams of Ritalin a day, then it was up to 20 milligrams (10 grams twice a day). After having Bekah I was put on a 20 milligram time release and a regular 10 milligram incase I needed it later in the day. I know there is a lot of controversy about these drugs, but you know I really don’t want to get into that here and now. I ask you to spend a day in my shoes with and without medication then you can judge.

Those of you who know me personally know that as soon as I have a positive pregnancy test I am off the drugs. That is what I did with Bekah and that is what I did with this pregnancy as well even though it’s been so much harder with this pregnancy to function. I’ve spent many a day in tears just overwhelmed with life that is pilling up around me. My patient husband is always there to lend a hand and help dry my tears. He sees the difference – he sees the two different people and how frustrated I get not being able to function. Urgh…I’m crying now. It’s not fun people and it’s harder when you work from home with a toddler.

Breathe…This is not where I planned to go with this entry, but I wanted to give you some background before I showed you what has stacked up on my night stand.

This is my to-read list:

I love to read, but during these times it is so difficult for me. Most of these I was so excited to get or to purchase. I quickly opened them up and started reading, but made it only through one paragraph or just one page. It’s so frustrating. I have flashback from junior high where I just can’t seem to comprehend. I make it through a paragraph and I can’t begin to tell you what I just read.
Anyway, let me tell you about these awesome books because even though I haven’t made my way through them I think you should read them.

We will stop at the top of the stack (even though these are in no particular order). If you click on the title it will take you to the author’s website or Amazon.

Unglued by Lisa Terkeurst: I love Lisa! I have a bunch of her work (and have read most of them).

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voscamp: I have heard some many wonderful things about this book and know women who have read it over and over again. This was one of the more frustrating books for me. I could not get past the first three pages…I was so lost. I know it’s not the material – it’s me.

The Story: I am not sure how this wound up in my to-read stack. I want to read it and got it for $5 while in San Diego, but I am not sure if it is part of my “have to read now” group. The Lutheran Church down the street is going through it and would love to do that some day with a big group…well maybe…I need to read it first.

The Girl’s Still Got It by Liz Curtis Higgs: Have you read any of Liz’s books? Oh you should she is hilarious! I got the honor to meet her at the Faithlife Women’s conference in September. She is divine. This book is about Ruth and Naomi. I made it a good way through this book preparing for my women’s retreat on Ruth. I want to finish it though.

The Fruitful Wife by Haley DiMarco: Haley was part of the Faithlife Women’s conference as well. I picked up this book after reading a sample that was given to us…I haven’t opened this book since that day, but have heard great things about it.

Broken into Beautiful by Gwen Smith: Oh how I love Gwen. She is such an awesome woman and inspiration. If you read my blog on Saturday you know she also has a wonderful voice. This is yet again another book that makes me so frustrated. I so want to finish this book, but haven’t yet.

Named by God by Kasey Van Norman: Ok, if you read anything from this list you HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK!!! I have read it twice. It shouldn’t be in the stack either, but I just finished leading this as a bible study, so that is why it is there. Kasey’s writing has made such a huge impact on my life. She is the reason I went to the Faithlife conference. See:

Isn’t that a big cheesy smile from me? I am not sure what I else I could say about Kasey that would sound like I’m a complete stalker.

The Explicit Gospel by Matt Chandler: You know I picked this up thinking this was on my wish list, but it wasn’t I think it was Matt’s name that made me pick it up. Matt is a local pastor that I have known about for quite so time. I have yet to start reading any of this book.

Trusting God by Girlfriends in God: This is a book and group that Gwen Smith is a part of. I started reading this book, but I think it is better for a group bible study session and will be used in the future I am sure.

At the bottom of the stack is a little black book. That is my journal that has been neglected during my madness.

Also not pictured, but I am attempting to read is:

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin: another book that my blogging friends have read over and over again. I started reading it during women’s retreat, but have not made it through the first chapter. Meh.

Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins: This is the only book I am reading on my Nook. Yeap I have one and during these times it gathers dust. I flew through Hunger Games, but Catching Fire is much slower for me. I love these books!

You know as I am writing this I am thinking “I can do this!” I just need to set a time each day to read…I also need to set a time to read the best book ever – the Bible! I think if I pick a book and read just that book then I won’t feel so overwhelmed. So I will pick one and let you know…maybe tomorrow. I would love to share what I am reading – hey, some accountability may help – who am I kidding.

So, there is a little insight on me. You are luck…normally people don’t find out about this part of me until we know each other much better. It took me a good two weeks before I shared it with JAG. Man, I love that man…just thought you should know.

Also, I have a whole stack of books for mothers that I have yet to dive into completely. I may have to sprinkle some of those in since I will soon be a mother to three girls.

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