Monday, March 14, 2011


I don’t know when it was when things went from fun to dangerous in my eyes. I would like to say it started when I was young – and of course that means it is my mom’s fault (she loves that). Really, though, when I look back a lot of came to me on September 13, 2001 – the day Shelby was born. Then I swore I would fight tooth and nail to keep her safe. It has become somewhat of an obsession – so much so that my husband swears he is going to break me of my “too dangerous” attitude.

I related danger to sadness. I explained this to my husband last night in this way: danger normally equals harm which equals death which equals sadness – get my drift.

Now I don’t completely freak out and not let Shelby use scissors or ride a bike – even though she still does not ride a bike – that just seems odd to me, but that just isn’t something she has ever wanted to do. I am ademit without a doubt over my dead body against Shelby playing in the front yard and that is how the hour long discussion started about me and my dangerous complex.

I have one name – Amber Hagerman. Amber and a slew of other young girls plucked from their playing by evil dangerous people and never seen alive again – that is reason numero uno that my daughter will not be playing in the front yard without me standing there.  Also the only front windows we have are in bedrooms and they do not give a good view the entire front yard.

If she plays in the backyard she normally has crazy Duke with her, but I still look out every few minutes and if I don’t see I open the door and call her name until I do.

Am I insane or is the just normal momma feelings coming out? JAG thinks it is perfectly safe for her to play in the front because we live on a quiet dead end street. Yeap it’s quiet because no one is outside. No one would see is some creep came up and snatched my baby.

He is also concerned that I believe the following are dangerous:

Driving too fast
Sleeping with the windows open
Camping in a tent – even in the backyard
Going some places after dark
Planes – small ones – I watch the Patsy Cline story too many times when I was little.

I hope I am not just showing my extreme anxiety by listed these things. I am not afraid of spiders, but I am afraid of many other things in life and above all I want my daughter safe.

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