Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Buy Stock in Kleenex – Trust Me!

I am coming to terms that I am no longer in control of my body. For the next six and a half months the child growing in me has all the control just as his (or her) older sister did ten years ago. I am not sure if I am just older or if this pregnancy is really that different, but I do not remember feeling like crap 24/7 when Shelby was a tenant inside my body.

I really shouldn’t complain because many people have it worse then I do, but since I hardly ever feel like poo and am hardly ever sick in my normal life this has really hit kind of hard. I am not so patiently waiting for the honeymoon period to start in this pregnancy. I am waiting for the glow to kick in and for my body to go from looking really swollen and fat to pregnant.

Most of all I am waiting for the tears to stop. Seriously you guys need to buy stock in Kleenex because they are making a huge profit off of me. I cry over anything these days and it is more then my prior hormone enraged crying while I was attempting to get pregnant. This hurts – I my chest gets all tight and the only thing I can do is cry. When I start I cannot stop even after the laughter breaks out -because most of the time I have no idea why I am even crying- I still cannot stop crying.

On Sunday we had an older gentleman in our congregation black out during service and an ambulance was called. I do not know this man – I may have met him before, but I do not know his family. Did that stop me? Nope, I balled. JAG just glanced over in pure embarrassment because his over emotional wife was sniffing like crazy and frantically looking for Kleenexes. After two rounds of crying I finally calmed myself enough to whisper “I am so pregnant!”

That crying was nothing compare to the sobbing I did when I saw the preview for the Lifetime show Coming Home.

That first little girl – man it has me almost tearing up now. Why do show things like this on Lifetime during One Born Every Minute – don’t they realize there is just a bunch of pregnant women watching. I cried so hard I couldn’t breath. Thank goodness I was home alone – that would have just been one more reason for JAG to think I am completely crazy.

So these days I am a complete mess – I really wish I could sleep for a good four months and then maybe things would be better.

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