Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

Internet Dating and What I Was Looking For.

My 411 on Internet Dating:

If my memory serves it was Nicole who told me about the internet dating world. She had tried her hand with Yahoo and suggested I check it out. It was interesting, but I didn’t find who I wanted there. Actually, thinking about it at that stage of the game I didn’t know what I wanted.

Let me stop right here and tell you that if you are going to go through the internet dating route then you will have to weed through a bunch of frogs to find your prince. Some of the frogs are obvious – you can see their warts immediately. Then there are some that are very sneaky hiding their warts very well until you think “ah this might be a good one” then bam the warts start popping up everywhere. As you have heard you cannot believe everything you see on the internet, well you cannot believe 90% of what you read during internet dating – oh the lies I heard or busted people on.

Secondly, you get what you pay for. If you decide to go the free route like PlentyofFish then you get people who haven’t paid for anything either. The entire place is a hook up site. It is bad, but if that is what you are looking for then head on over just read the next paragraph before you do. I am not going to give you the link – sorry. You will have to just google it yourself.

Part of the problem with PlentyofFish is you are going to get characters – I think that is a good description. There is no checking if this person is who they say they are. The pictures the names everything actually could be fake. I guess this is where I lucked out – I am the queen of investigative work. I want to know all the details about you. You have to do your research since we live in the time of the craigslist killer. One site that will be so beneficial to you is, but before you can use it you have to get a last name. Please if you take one piece of advice for me regarding this subject – do your research. Get every bit of information you can gather on someone – and you don’t have to tell them you are doing it. Confirm that they are who they say they are by comparing a Facebook profile picture with their internet ad. Also, you can find out if they are single or married – because unfortunately there are married men online – I know sad right?

Ultimately my rules are
  1. pay the money for a reputable site like eharmony.
  2. do your research.
  3. do not jump into a date right away – take at least a week to get to know the person. I met them on the site, then instant messaged, then talked on the phone and then met in person – I never did this all in one day.
  4. ALWAYS MEET IN PUBLIC! You have to meet and have your first date in public. Take your own car and tell someone where you are going and who you are meeting. And end the date – do not make it a slumber party – just saying.

What I was Looking For

Another big key to internet dating is knowing what you are looking for because there are many many fish in the sea. You could get stuck on one when then one that you really wants swims by.

I made a list – yeap on paper.

I about fell out of my chair when I found this list as I was moving – it is hilarious and so not what I really wanted. Oh, it is so embarrassing, but I am going to share it with you in the order that I listed my requirements.

  1. Over 5’ 10”
  2. Gets dirty at work
  3. Big, but not too Big - Meaning he had to have some meat on this bones. I could not date anyone who weighed less then I did.
  4. Married before
  5. Kids – had to have them
  6. Supports Himself – oh I found so many that didn’t
  7. Drives a truck
  8. Facial Hair – wanted him to have it
  9. Tattoos
  10. Does not wear Ed Hardy – uh I can’t stand that brand.
  11. Doesn’t own a suit.
  12. Far from a metro. You might need to look that up.
  13. Doesn’t hunt.
  14. No Nascar.
  15. Can miss a football game.
  16. Believes in God – I know it was number 16 – should have been number 1 and should have been believes in God and practices his religion regularly.
  17. No country music unless it’s classic or Texas country.
  18. Does NOT own a cowboy hat.
  19. doesn’t own a motorcycle – dangerous (JAG just read this and laughed – trust me he laughed)..

Yeap it is as embarrassing as I thought it would be. Now look at these and look at my husband. Let’s see he meet 9 of these when I first met him. He didn’t have facial hair, still has no tattoos, and owns many suits, but you know what I found? I found that anyone who met all of these things – I didn’t like after all. I guess my have to have list needed some serious tweaking. When I met JAG my goal was to find a man who was true to himself and others. As I had said before I met JAG a week after I said “I am never going to date again.” I gave up and God sent me exactly what I needed all along.

Tomorrow I will tell you about my first encounter with JAG – his profile on eharmony. Then Friday on the anniversary of our first date I will give the scoop on how nervous my poor JAG was – poor guy.

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