I am happy (and lucky) to say I do not have any. My parents have been married for almost 40 years, but Shelby has one (a step parent). It has come to my attention that even though she has had one for almost a year there are still a few kinks that have not been worked out.
Driving home one afternoon this week my phone rings and I answer (I know…call Oprah, I picked up my cellphone in the car), it is my x-husband.
He says, “I need to talk to you about Shelby. She has been disrespecting Julia.”
I say, “Really? In which way?” Not meaning disrespect by my questioning, I just needed to know.
His response, “Well things like she doesn’t say thank you.”
Here is where I giggle. I think we have bigger fish to fry with Shelby’s attitude then whether or not she says thank you all the time. I understand it is important and I strive for my child to respect her elders , but Miss Attitude does things that could be consider a tad bit more disrespectful then not saying thank you. Still this leaves me convicted about Shelby’s situation.
On one hand I would like to remind my x-husband that I went through a good six months of Shelby being very very angry at me due to the divorce. I think now that anger (which I know isn’t good) is now directed towards him and his wife.
Did (or do you) have step-parents? Did you have an adjustment period? Did you have anger at the step-parent even though they really had nothing to do with your current situation?
There are a whole slew of reasons why Shelby is upset and probably taking it out on her stepmother, I think it would be best to leave those unpublished. I guess my dilemma is teaching Shelby that everyone will have different rules and if she chooses to see her father (it has gotten to the point where it is her choice) then she will have to deal with the rules of his house. This includes tell her stepmother “thank you” often.
Oh, I could say so much on this topic, but I should probably leave that to my ranting (and laughing) phone calls with my Mom.