Monday, April 26, 2010

The Victim Mentality

Wanna talk pet peeves for a second?

Over the past few years my biggest pet peeve has become the Victim Mentality.

Familiar with it?

A victim mentality is one where you blame everyone else for what happens in your world. Another definition not as commonly used is one that says a person thinks the future only holds bad things for them.

An example that irritates me the most is “My parents were not the best people therefore I do drugs and steal from people.” Yes, I agree your parents may have made some mistakes in raising you, but in no way should that be used as defense for 20+ years of wrecking havoc on society.

I have know people who have gone through hell in their life and have come out the other side drug and crime free, so when people continue to blame their parents or their life circumstances for their current situation it makes me want to scream.

I wise man told me once, it’s not the circumstances in life that makes us who we are, it is how we deal with them.

The king of all victims attempted to make contact with me over the weekend with a letter from prison which shook Shelby and I up pretty bad Friday night. I want to make it clear to the world and him that I shut that chapter on my life in June (see blog here). I expected for it remain shut forever and it WILL remain shut forever. Right now I have anger that I need to vent, so sit back and listen (if you would like).

My first thought is “How dare he!” How dare he think for even a nano-second that would have even a have a minute of thought about being his friend or communicating with him at all. What in the world makes he believe that there is any change on God’s green earth that I would take him back into my life after what he has done to my family.

Oh…he has forgiven me. Well, my goodness what I wonderful joy that I have been searching for. Forgives me for what? For supporting him through his awful drug addiction, for putting my daughter second to pick his drug stoopered butt up off the floor, or for being so stupidly blind not to notice he was stealing just about everything out of the house and at the same time draining every cent of my savings. Oh wow… for that YOU for FORGIVING me?

I am normally not one to wish anything bad on someone else and really don’t for him, but I do believe he is exactly where he should be. I don’t buy the “my parents messed me up” crap. I believe that he is an evil soul and I don’t believe there is any curing him. I think that once he gets out he will find another unsuspecting victim to use.

Let me make it clear as day that in no way shape or form will he be a part of my life. That chapter was closed. The door has been shut and dead bolted a jillion times over.

The letter was received, read, torn up, and then Shelby and I burned it in the backyard. I think we needed to make a point. We have no plans to make contact with him; we want him out of our lives for good.

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