Friday, January 22, 2016

The Great “should we try again” Debate

I have three beautiful daughters. 

I am living in two worlds, mother of a teenager and mother of preschoolers (I guess I could still call Morgan a toddler). 

I am hopefully, please Lord help us, going to be out of the pull-ups stage soon with Morgan. Please, please, please say she will get over her stubbornness soon! 

Everyone is sleeping through the night and in their own beds, even toddler beds. 

If you have been around Matt and I when the topic has been brought up, you’ve hear me say, “Nope, no more we are done.” 

So, can someone tell me why I am having the “should we have another baby?” debate with myself? 

And I am not sure why I am bringing this debate to the World Wide Web, but here we go. 

I was watching the documentary, Mitt the other night (have you see it, you should. Find it here: and watching him with his sons started this little voice in my head. 

Ahh, look at him with his sons, Matt should have a son. Ahh, we would have cute sons. 

And after church on Sunday this same voice said,

Ahh, look at Gus in his skinny jeans. Ahh, I would rock at dressing a little boy. 

Thanks, Emily. Thank you for dressing your kids like little men and making me want a boy! 

Then, today I was watching this video with Rachel Hollis’ son (click here to see it) and the little voice was like,

Ahhh, look at his hair. I want a boy!

Which led me to texting Matt and telling him I am having this debate. Which was not a good decision AT All, because if there is one person who is  all for having another child it is my husband. Just call him JimBob Duggar, seriously he would have gaggle of kids if I would say yes. 

I have a long list of reason not to have another child. 

1. My Career

I’ll wait for you to stop laughing. 

I would like to write on a more serious level and develop my ministry (or determine if I even have one). Also, I currently have two jobs besides being a wife, mother and blogger. One of which I just started and am very interested in continuing. The other gives me a great discount for all my home interior needs. So, I am really not looking forward to maternity leave, you know? 

2. Space

No, I am not planing to join NASA, space as in we don’t have any. I always tell Matt that he sealed the deal on not have another child when he fell in love with a three bedroom house. Yes, we could convert the playroom, but really do we want to? Yes, we could put three kids in one room, but do we want to? And no, Shelby is not sharing a room with her four year old sister. I’ve always been firm about that. 

3. Money

I am fully aware that there are families that have more kids then we do that survive. It’s call a budget. Have I told you how Matt and I are two-time Dave Ramsey drop outs? Those part-time jobs I mentioned before are happening for a reason. I feel like every time I turn around someone is wanting money, like the school…there is always something happening that we need to pay that costs money. And incase you didn’t know having a baby costs money up front. 

4. I’m Gettin’ On Up There

I am seriously no longer a spring chicken. I will be 39 in November, ugh 39! So, I automatically become “high risk” even though I know people have kids in their 40s. Wow, let’s think about that I minute, let’s say I have a child this year, right around my 39th birthday. Add 18 years to 39 and I will be 57 when that child graduates high school. And Shelby would be 34. I could be a grandmother when my child is graduating from High School. Wait. Is my math right? Oh, well 18 years from now Shelby should will be about 32, but still…32. 

Besides thinking about any other “high risk” things that could happen having a baby at 39, there is a very strong chance that I could have another pregnancy effected by ICP. Having Morgan was nerve-wracking especially because for the last two months I didn’t sleep. I would go into this risking having a child that would not survive the entire pregnancy, but don’t we all have that risk? 

5. It’s a 50/50 Chance We’d Be Buying More Pink

Even though we’d love the child not matter the sex because seriously I would love another girl, I was made to be the mother of girls. We really have a 50/50 chance at having a boy no matter how much my husband would love to have a son. I always joke and say we would definitely have another girl because that is Matt’s lot in life. The oldest of four boys has to have all girls, that is just the way it supposed to be. 

6. The Fluffy Factor

Let’s chat a bit about this topic. I would love to lose 40 pounds and have “started” “attempting” to “get healthy” many times in the last twenty-two days. Even though I am thinner than where I was when I had Morgan, I’ll have to expect to put on some fluff over a nine month period. And I know that since I am old (that statement I know is making some reader mad) removing that fluff will be more difficult than it was ten years ago. Ah, who am I kidding, I am still carrying the fluff I gained when I had Shelby…almost 15 years ago mind you. In an ideal situation I would get down to a healthy me and then get pregnant, then be pissed because I just lost all that weight because we all know I won’t be drinking kale smoothies during my pregnancy. 

This time last year I was in a bible study where we learned that this debate is not ours to answer, that God is the one to make the decision if we have children and how many we have. We should not prevent that and let His plans take their course. 

What you talkin’ about Willis? 

I was dumbfounded. 

I know someday I will learn whether that is true and if I went against God’s command by making this decision myself. 

It’s a hard debate. On one hand, I really don’t want to find myself at the age of sixty thinking, “man, we should have tried one more time.”

On the other, four months from now I don’t want to think “What in the world did we do?!?!”

So, it’s time to pray. Should I have another child or should I get a really cute dog?

it could be a boy

we could name him Sam, Sam Matthew so we are passing on the name thing. 

I guess you should keep an eye on my Instagram, I'll either be posting a pregnancy announcement or a picture of a really cute puppy. I have no clue. 


  1. I am literally laughing while reading your blog this morning. I can't wait to see the pregnancy announcement!!! When you are asking these questions, you are ready for another!! Been there and have the baby (or not so much a baby anymore) to prove it! You have a whole missional group that is here to support you--plus there are a bunch of us that want a baby to hold!!

    1. Ha! Amy!! It's always good to know that you all have my back and will stand by me if I decide to take this crazy plunge.


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