Dear Young People,
My knee-jerk opening to this letter seems to be “How Dare You!” “How dare you do this!” “How dare you think that you would get away with this!”
That is the number of days that this hell has been a part of my life. I would estimate that I thought about you 900 of those days. Every six month for the last three years I’ve had to prepare for trial, read my deposition, and replay August 15, 2012 in my mind. Did I miss something? Am I really as horrible as they portray me to be?
For quite some time I held onto anger towards you, your friend and your lawyer. That anger changed to compassion when I thought that being young you were lead astray by your horribly corrupt lawyer. His incitement of large sums of money from my insurance company led you to lie. I thought maybe, just maybe, you didn’t realize the type of person I am. How big my care is for people around me and how quick I can give out grace.
Did you realize that when you decided to not act to prevent this accident from occurring that I had my ten month old daughter in the back seat. That if I had hesitated slamming on my breaks (opposite of your action of honking and then gunning it ) that your car would have collided with my passenger side door that was less than a foot away from my daughter’s carseat. Did you know that I was pregnant with my youngest daughter and if I had in fact “t-boned” your car at a “high rate of speed” that you claim I did, I would have likely lost her that afternoon?
Were you aware that this entire ordeal would not have gotten this far if your accomplice (who had not been in your car) did not attempt to assault me as soon as I stepped out of my vehicle? But this week learned he was part of your plan, as distraction to keep me from interacting with you, to keep me from seeing your lack of injury.
Did you know that as he was filming you crying in your car instead of helping you get out, I was unconsolable on the opposite side of the street? That it finally took kind paramedic who let me know you were okay followed by a police officer who stated he believed this was a pure accident before I could stop crying. Did you know my tears did continue, though, through the night, into the next day as I waited to see if the child I was carrying survived.
Above all the drama of the scene that day, far beyond the anger and I disappointment I hold towards you, I want you to know that I prayed for you.
On August 15, 2012 as I sat in my van and watched you being placed in an ambulance I prayed for you. I prayed for your health, for your recovery. My prayers were indeed answers, I found out this past week (three plus years later). I was in shock as my lawyer read to me the statement submitted by the paramedics that day, I was disappointed, yet relieved, that they found you with no injuries, no visible markings, no sign of trauma. Yet, you cried that you had pain in your head, your neck, your back, even the bottom of your feet were in pain. And each time an ER doctor would tell you they found nothing wrong (all three times you went to the emergency room) you chose not to change your story (or I could assume your lawyer told you not to change your story). Even on your second visit to the hospital five days after the accident the doctor noted you were acting fine, even chipper, when you did not notice he was standing behind you in the examination room, but as soon as you saw him you cried out in pain.
Every six months or so for the last three years as I prepared for trial I prayed for you. As our trial date was reset time and time again I believed you needed more time to realize my insurance company was not out to get you - that they were being fair. This you now realize (I hope) since what your were rewarded on Tuesday was far less that what your were offered two years ago in mediation and much smaller that the $100,000 your lawyer claimed you deserved from this low speed accident.
Did you know I prayed for God to work in hour heart and help you speak the truth as we started trial this week? I actually had many, many people praying for you. I prayed as you nodded off during jury selection. I prayed for God to work in your heart as your lies were exposed I prayed harder that you would realize what you were doing. Your heart was not changed by my prayer as you continued to lie about such things as not understanding the word “bruise”. That was disappointing. Being in the United States since 2009, being a graduate of a U.S. college and working for a major U.S. airlines, you should know a word that my toddler who has been in this world for only two years knows. As your lies continued about the $37,000 in “medical” bills you rang up in four months time kept coming from your mouth, I prayed. As you claimed to “not remember” tests the hospital had performed on you or the name of your chiropractor that you saw every day for three months, I prayed.
When we received the jury’s decision and you learned that you would walk away with no money in your pocket, still owing $18,000 in medical bills plus fees to your lawyer I prayed that you would learn something from these 1,202 days. Today I pray that what you’ve learned by trying to cheat the system would be shared with others, that others will learn from the error of your ways. And ultimately, I pray that more cases like this will see the light of day, that our justice system will change and many, many other things would occur that would keep this from happening to other drivers like myself.
I pray for both of you as you face the days ahead. God’s grace is amazing, but you must first give him your sins, repent from your ways and walk in His peace. It can be done. God is the great giver of forgiveness, but me, it will take my awhile to get past your actions this past week. It will take me awhile to not only forgive you, but also regain trust with our society. Not to worry, I have strong people praying for me today as I put these 1,202 days behind me and embrace the relief that this is all over.