Hey fellow mother! You’re doing a great job! You are awesome! Fist Bump!
Oh, there are so many ways that mothers discourage instead of encourage each other. This can be true of women in general (unfortunately starting at a really young age).
I know this to be true because
I didn’t breast feed all of my daughters
I let my girls watch TV, sometimes too much (by my own standards)
I have a two and a half year old that isn’t potty trained
My middle and oldest daughters used pacifiers past their 2nd birthday
My children eat at Mc Donald’s, Whataburger and even Taco Bell
Many times our dinner does not include a green vegetable or vegetables at all
Somedays my girls never set foot outside
My four year old cussed during our recent missional community group gathering and it wasn’t “shoot” or “crap” it was two words that I blamed on my father, but more than likely she heard from me
I feed my kids sugar
I am happy when my 14 year old gets C’s because at least she is passing. (I do stress the importance of that maddening GPA, but I am just relieved when she passes)
My two year old does not attend Sunday worship with our family and my four year old attends half of the time (I’ll have a post on this subject later this week, since it is the cause of some of the largest mother shaming lately)
I’ve received judgement on all of these statements and this is just my parenting - my past and my life today receive even more judgement. I have received direct, indirect, and just blanket discouragement and shaming through avenues like social media (I am starting to believe my father when he says that Facebook is the devil). Unfortunately, I’ve received a majority of my discouragement from my fellow Christian sisters (and even some of my Christian brothers - to whom, “I say walk a mile in the shoes of a mother”).
I admit, though, I too have also passed judgement on other mothers. We all judge - unfortunately, it’s the truth.
The bible compels us to “accept one another, then just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”
So, what is it? What makes us discourage more than encourage each other?
Encouragement is a selfless act of love that gives hope. Encouragement costs nothing (and there is no coupon that you have to keep up with).
Discouragement is one of the top reasons I block media and sometimes people on Facebook. I have enough in my life and really don’t need your post about how I am a horrible mother because I didn’t breast feed to damper my self-image. I shouldn’t have to defend my parenting online or even in church (where I should be accepted with love). And really I don’t think you should have to do those things either.
If your four year old can’t recited the Lord’s Prayer, but at least got dressed today then I say, “You Go Girl!”
These little version of ourselves are not easy to raise and if you are hanging in there, even if you take at least one “mommy time out” a day, then I say, “You rock!”
And, oh my, if you have mastered Come Core Math (other wise know as HELL for any parent of an elementary school child) then you deserve twenty gold trophies!
The fact is there is only one perfect parent (God), so lightened up on your sisters (and yourself). If we all lived through no seat belts and life without parental controls on our T.V.s, then our kids are bound to turn out at least half way better than we have, right?
Give some encouragement today. Hug a mom you love and tell her she is Awesome!
Remember, the only opinion that matters, is the opinion of our little people.