Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Letting My Soul Rest

You may have expected me to be writing the second part of headed towards rock bottom, today. I hope it does not cause you too much disappointment (because I still battle being a people pleaser) when I say, I need a break.

I probably sat, writing for close to six hours yesterday. I wrote till I was mentally exhausted, then last night pulled a chunk out of that writing to share with you. But I cannot continue today - my soul needs rest.

I never imagined sharing this part of my life would cause me so much hurt (not from anyone else, but just the process of reliving things) and leave me just worn out. And then keep me up all night thinking about life. I am tired.

This is a process that I really want to get through, but I need to understand that I do not have to rush. I am not giving up - I am just pressing pause.

In an effort to rest today I have played hide and seek and have been a part of a magic show delivered by Bekah. I am sure my afternoon will include laundry and cleaning a bathroom or two. Yes, I will actually physically rest, too (mother!), but my goal is to really get my mind away from my past for awhile. I need to live in today.

I can not tell you how long it will take, but knowing me I will still have other things to write about and share here.

Thank you for your support as I have taken on this project. Thank you for your stories and hearts that you've opened up to me. And thank you for your prayers.

I have held many things in my hands, and have lost them all.
But whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess
~Martin Luther

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