Right now I am at a cross roads. Don’t worry, it’s not about anything major. I feel like I’ve been shown pieces of what I should do with my life. I believe that I am meant to help empower women and show them the true power for grace that we’ve been given through Jesus Christ.
Through the past year I’ve seen a one particular outlet to be a part of my ministry, but for the past couple of weeks I’ve been thinking “well, that probably won’t happen here.” I am probably not making sense to you at all and I apologize for that, but it’s perfectly clear to me - just hang with me a moment.
This morning the urge came back to me again. It was a “I can do this! I can make this happen. I have jump all the hurdles and push through all the obstacles and make this work.” Then I stop. I stop because something inside asks “who am I doing this for? Do I want this group for the benefit of other women or more for my own pleasure. Can I have it both ways?” Can I? Can I do something or start something because it really benefits me and because it will also benefit others? I believe so. The question really is, is this a vanity thing or a God thing? Yikes. How did that questions just come out of my mouth? Do I want to start a new area of ministry because I want to lead something, be a part of something, show what I can achieve or because God is calling me to do so?
Still Yikes. That is such a hard question. So, how do I know God is talking to me?
As I sat in front of my computer this morning starting and deleting emails to our Family Life Minister I thought, “Is God talking to me? Is it Him who is telling me to push so hard for this or am I being swayed by Satan?” I sat with my head in my hands knowing I had read this before. Which book? Which bible study? As I dug through our library of books (the benefit of not getting rid of books) I found it!
In her bible study, What Happen When Women Say Yes to God, Lisa Terkeurst gives us five key questions to help us determine if we are hearing God or Ourselves.
Does What I am hearing line up with Scripture?
Is it consistent with God’s character?
Is it being confirmed through messages I am hearing at church or studying in my quiet times?
Is it beyond me?
Would it please God?
So Does what I am hearing line up with Scripture?
Well, in Matthew 28:19-20 (The Great Commission) Jesus calls us to make disciples and to teach them to obey everything he has commanded us. Also in First Corinthians 12 we are told that we are all interconnected as the body of Christ. We are meant to be together in community. So the answer is yes to this question.
Is it consistent with God’s character?
Terkeurst says, “When you feel God speaking to you, ask yourself: Is what I am hearing consistent with God’s love, joy, peace, etc?” She is say that God’s character is represented in the Fruit of the Spirit which are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Now, that’s something to think about. I believe that it is, but at the same time I am questioning my vanity in the situation. I am pushing too hard to achieve things and not waiting for God’s timing?
Let’s move to question three: Is it being confirmed through messages I am hearing at church or studying in my quiet times?
Our church is very much looking at missional living. Missional Living - It’;s not a new term, but it was new to me. You see to me missional brings me to Missions and Mission trips then I am thinking Kenya or when my husband went to Russia in high school. My understanding (and I say my understanding meaning that I could be off, I suggest you ask someone else for their opinion as well) is that Missional Living really centers around the Great Commission that I mentioned earlier (Matthew 28:19-20). I also found this explanation: a Christian term that in essence describes a missionary lifestyle. Being missional includes embracing the posture, the thinking, behaviors, and practices of a missionary in order to reach others with the message of the gospel.
So, the answer to number three in my case is, yes, as well.
Is it beyond me? No, it is in my scope of knowledge and pretty much right up my alley.
Would it please God? Yes, but only if it were for the correct reason. The follow-up question would be, Is it something I should take on? Is my plate already full with what God wants me to handle? Would added this push something that was more important to him off my plate? I am piling more on then what He intends for me?
So, my friends, the answer to this conundrum for me is prayer. Prayer, Prayer and more Prayer. For I believe that if I give it to him (which I believe I am kind of am now by getting it all out) he will show where where to go - what path to take.
Give Up or Fight? Not sure, I am waiting for God’s response.