Monday, August 18, 2014

I Can't Help But Notice You Seem A Little at War with Yourself

Matt posted the following on Facebook this morning, so I feel like I can now share my feelings (which are no secret to Matt) about this new chapter in our lives.

From Matt's facebook

What an amazing Monday! For those of you that don't know, I quit my job on Friday and today begins the search for new direction. Things are a little crazy around here right now, but God is good and I know He will continue to watch over my family throughout this time.

The past few days have been a bit odd to say the least. 

Let me start by saying. I knew Matt was going to quit his job and I gave Matt my blessing to quit his job. 

The past 10 months have not been the best for Matt and I, but  are by no means on the verge of anything that would break us apart. Ten months ago Matt accepted a job in Houston which left me in North Texas for an extended period of time while we sold the house. I was relieved when the house sold and the girls and I were able to move to Houston to be with Matt, but it seems since we have been here we've seen him less than before. 

A normal week would be seeing Matt for a few hours on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Then, he would go to work Thursday morning and the girls would not see him again until Saturday afternoon. Normally, Matt would leave the house by 6 am and on some (lately most) nights would not come home until 11 pm or Midnight. When he was home he was physically and mentally tired.

I had come to terms with this because this is what Matt did for a living and this is what kept a roof over our heads, so I sucked it up...sometimes with more drama then others and did what I could to support Matt.  

During the last few months Matt's job had become less and less rewarding to him, so he resigned last Friday. 

Want to know what it feels like to be me these days? Have you ever seen Tangled? 

I am bit like 

This is going to be so great! Oh my goodness what have you done? It's going to be so good to have you at home more! Holy Cow! How are we going to keep the lights on? 

This scene plays in my head lately

Let's talk about anxiety for a moment...I think my friend Laura had the best response to Matt's post because I know she was talking to me when she said, "Wow, prayers for all of you to keep quiet heart and anxiety at bay during this time."

Having your husband quit is job five months after buying a new house in a new city can quite possibly make a normal person without anxiety a bit nervous. I am not normal and I do have anxiety. And yes, I pray about it. I've got Philippians 4:6-7 memorized and I'm thinking about getting this tattoo once all this is over. My mom is so proud of that last sentence. 

 So, anyway to sum up how I feel about my husband quitting his job...I'm a bit freaked, but I know that God has a plan for him and I'm lucky enough to be along for the ride. This will be okay. It might get rough...not anytime soon, but I love my husband and I am here to support him. I got my blood pressure medicine refilled if your wondering and I'll be dousing myself in antistress essential oils. I plan to help out by growing my Thirty-One business (which has been amazing) and I'll continue to sew because creating helps my soul so much! Things will be fine. 

The past few days have been the happiest in a long time for Matt - I love that. We can do this with God's help and your prayers.

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