My plan was to not write today.
I have sat in front of my computer for five minutes with just that sentence on the screen.
I am having a hard day. My patience level is small and I'm snapping at everyone. I am trying to avoid grief. I am trying to avoid writing.
Every year on this date I have written a blog post. I have written to wish my grandmother (My Meme) a happy birthday every year since I started this blog.
I was going to skip it this year, the birthday after her passing, because it didn't feel good. It seems though if I don't face it, then I don't feel good. Did I tell you how much I despise grief?
Happy Birthday Meme! Today you celebrate your 91st birthday surrounded by your family and loved ones. Today I need to sit and remember that you are now healthy, happy, and the best Mary Elizabeth you've ever been as you rejoice this day in Heaven. Even though my heart breaking here I need to remember the blessing and legacy you left for me.
And that's all I can do...I don't feel it's enough to honor what you've done for me and I am sorry, but this is a hard year for me.
And of course I think a look back with help my heart this afternoon: