Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Not What you Expected

I know I've been missing for almost a month now and I do apologize (more to myself then to you). These three have been taking up much of my free time (and that is the way things should be).

These days I am good to take a shower once every couple of days. I feel like I say "Are you going poopy" "don't jump on the sofa" and "be nice to your sister" more than I should, but I am loving life.

I know that I owe you (again talking to myself here...I think) stories about Easter and Morgan's Baptism. Morgan's birth story may have to wait until her birthday like I did with Bekah. Hopefully it won't take 10 years like it did with Shelby.

Speaking of Shelby. I heard this statement leave my mouth this morning on our drive to school.

I want you to think about everything you have learned this year in church including the ten commandments and determine if your actions are honoring God or dishonoring God.

I am really trying to go this route instead of screaming at the top of my lungs "You are DONE dating and you can't be friends with anyone that you are currently friends with." It's a long story and I'm not sure exactly how I want to capture it in writing yet.

The only advice I can give you as a parent at this moment in time is if you have a parenting plan, then do not waiver from it just because society does. My plan included no dating for Shelby until she was 16. I felt that would be an age where she would emotional mature enough to make decisions that would honor her and God. Well, you know where that plan went - in the trash - and I am sitting here this morning kicking myself. Actually, I am trying to not beat myself up too bad, but I am having some major parenting guilt because it's true Shelby is far from emotionally mature to handle a relationship - if you could call it that.

Ok, I guess I should give you some insight since I've rambled myself into a hole. I will try not to sound over dramatic when I say Shelby has been kissing a boy! At school! I am just beside myself. Now I didn't just fall off a turnip truck, I know this happens everyday, but it's too soon for Shelby. It's brings up some major fears about what will be next in her life (there may be some drama in that statement).

I will do my best to not sound like a clueless mother because if anyone knows about what can happen in teenage relationships it's me (probably the reason I am freaking out), but is it too much to pray that my daughters will choose abstinence? Is it too much to want my daughters to choose a path where they respect themselves and their bodies?

I was about to ask "why didn't I get an owner's manual for these girls as I left the hospital," but was reminded that I do have one - the Bible. The Lord's word which should stand stronger that societies pull on my daughters. I am sure I just lost a few of you, but I hope you hang in there with me because I have a question for you - especially if you are a female.

I have been sitting on a post for some time now - a post for my girls and I need your help. Without slamming your parents' parenting skills (because we all know how hard it is now that we are in their shoes) what is one thing (or two or three things) that you wish your parents told you about relationships? What is something that you wish you knew ahead of time in regards to how a man should treat a woman? Was there a lesson that you had to learn on your own that you wish someone would have given you a heads up on?  Feel free to comment below or email me. If you have a full on story then feel free to share.Please don't feel as though I am being sexist just asking the females, but I am raising girls over here not boys - at least not yet.

While I am on a roll about what I should teach my daughters let me tell you about my other tangent for this week - fighting. During the past week I've seen two fights outside of Shelby's middle school and I have to tell you watching these as a parent is much more disturbing then it was when I was in middle school. These kids were betting the tar about of each other - where do that learn that?

One fight between two sixth grade boys had me screaming from my car as I frantically called the front office. Looking back I think my mom took over my body - she has a tendency to let out high pitched screams when things frighten her.

That fight was nothing compared to the overwhelming feeling I had witnessing two girls fight a few days later. Again, I didn't grow up in a bubble, I know this happens everyday, but it been big teaching point for Shelby. I've told her my expectations of her starting with I better not catch her in the crowd that watches fights. I may have used the word stupid too many times in regards to this subject, but as an adult I think that fighting especially physically fighting is one of the stupidest things you can do. I've told Shelby what to do if some one threatens her with a fight. And since the fight between the two boys was over a girl I told Shelby that even though it may seem all sweet and loving for a boy to fight for you it's pretty stupid.

Man, raising a tween is hard! Thank you in advance for your prayers. I am sorry if you thought this was going be a look at my cute girls post. It feels good to get it all off my chest - hopefully tomorrow will be more lighthearted for you (and me). Now, I must go put a toddler in time out, again - raising a toddler isn't easy either, but all so worth the time.

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