Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Mom’s Postpartum Christmas

created by my family...will show you more later - you should see it in color.

I am sure that is how this year will be remembered. The year where most the decorations stayed in the box and mom cried – a lot. 

My funk is still here. It’s not a my life is not worth living funk. It’s more of a when’s the last time I took a shower funk. 

I wake up fine, drink my coffee, spend time with my baby and turn on my computer. Then around Noon I feel it coming on – the feeling that I just want to run outside and scream or spend hours punching a pillow. That feeling turns into me sitting in front of my computer wanting to cry. This wave of overwhelming feelings like if Duke coughs one more time I am going to pull what is left of my postpartum hair out! This is multiplied when my husband suggests that I call the vet and talk to them. Talk to someone – I don’t want to talk to anyone. That’s why Bekah and I get along so well – she doesn’t want to sit and have long conversations with me. 

Is this normal? Is it caused because there are no leaves on the trees? Or maybe it is because I am deep in the hormonal surge of my first postpartum cycle. Or maybe it is the funky feeling I feel because I haven’t showered since…hmm…maybe I should go take a shower. 

But before I go I want you to go see what a pretty Christmas looks like. 

Like at Meg’s house – here.
Or Kelly’s house – here.
These both made me cry…next year…next year will be better. Maybe next year I will not be sitting here looking at my beautiful  1980 mauve and blue flowered wallpaper.

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