Wednesday, December 7, 2011

I’ll Be Fine and Dandy

Someone mentioned Hard Candy Christmas on their blog this morning – before I even read the rest I was singing the lyrics in my head. That quickly changed to a youtube search and then a slow two-step around the kitchen with a hot cup of coffee in my hands.
Maybe I'll sleep real late
Maybe I'll lose some weight
Maybe I'll clear my junk
Maybe I'll just get drunk on apple wine
Me, I'll be just

Fine and Dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I won't let
Sorrow bring me way down

I find myself saying I dislike this time of year lately. There is a sadness that takes over my household that starts with the turkey and ends with the champagne. You may say Dana you need to make it better – focus on the reason for the season and all that jazz, but lately that has been easier said then done. And by lately I am not meaning some post-partum funk that has set in – it’s been like this for a while and it’s not because my hormones are out of whack (that’s for my mother).
I think this season can bring some funk to a lot of people – chasing Santa Claus is a lot of work. Each year Shelby’s list gets longer and the items get larger. Before you start thinking how spoiled my child is I will tell you as I remind JAG on occasion – put on your ten year old hat. How large was your Christmas list when you were ten? Shelby has been blessed to not be aware of any financial hardships I went through as a single parent – I always seem to pull it together when it came to Shelby. This year, though, I want to focus on things she needs – not things she wants.
I find myself during this time of the year missing Meme or shall I say missing the traditions – that I never really saw as traditions when she was well.  I miss her Neman Marcus Bars and her Christmas cards. I just miss everything about her.  Oh I could sit here for hours going through all the sorrow – the passing of Barbara, missing James, the grief my husband has during this season due the passing of his first wife and the memories we all share of a better time.  I spend time thinking about Nicole and the loss of her father then I send myself into fear about my father. Ok I have to stop!
To get out of my funk I will continue to dance in my kitchen like this – to this:
Hoped that helped the funk I put you in this morning. Please remember Proverbs 3:5 this time of year – Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  That will make everything Fine and Dandy.


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