Thursday, June 16, 2011

Things are good

I am happy to report that Bekah has moved everyday since the scare and each time she does I smile.

Is it normal to enjoy your second pregnancy more then your first or is it because I am older?

These last 10 years of being a mother has taught me to slow down…well I would say the last six years. I have to admit I rushed Shelby too much. I wanted her to crawl then walk as soon as possible and she did just as mommy wanted walking at 9 months and then running soon followed. These days she is as slow as a grandma when I ask her to do anything – I guess she has developed that hard head over time.
Shelby at the age of 3  - I think

Now I just want to put a brick on her head and say “stop growing.” She reminded me the other day that when Bekah is 10 she will be 20. I about cried. These 10 years with Shelby have flown by – just yesterday we spent our time snuggling and watching Bear in the Big Blue House, now I look at her as we are walking through the mall and think who replaced my baby with a tween. I can’t imagine her being 20 and the baby in my belly being 10.

I want to take things slow this time. I want time just looking at her to be more important than how far we have come with tummy time. I want to capture each moment which I did with Shelby, but something happened that all those moments ran together to land us where we are today.
At Disney when she was 5

There are many reasons why this pregnancy is different. I am older, I have more grey hair and am I little chunkier then I was at 23. I am in the best relationship of my life, I am content and I am truly happy – anxiety attacks and all. I have a beautiful daughter and I have no fear about being a mother – I just have fears of surviving the terrible teens and the toddlerhood at the same time. I know just how short life is and see the benefit of living in today. I am so much closer to God today then I was ten years ago even though I did drop out of VBS – sorry. And did I say I had a wonderful husband?

I love how he loves us. I love to see him with Shelby – they communicate in a way that I cannot – not better just different. When Bekah wakes up each morning at about 6:30 am – he rolls over to feel her kick and says he loves her too.

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