Thursday, June 9, 2011

Going Back

Don’t you just love it when I tell you I will be back the next day to share something with you then I don’t actually wind up blogging for three days? Do you notice? You may not and that is fine.

On Monday I told you that one good thing came from my weekend of tears – I went back to what I used to call my home church.

Almost exactly 10 years ago I had a client, turned friend, turned mentor who said during one of our sessions at the weight loss center where I worked “Why don’t you come with me on Sunday to my church. They have a wonderful Single Parents Ministry. I will go with you.” That conversation changed my life. Not only did it bring me back to my path with God, it brought me to Irving Bible Church.

At that time Irving Bible Church was much smaller, but still intimidating for a 23 year-old soon to be single parent who had fallen way of the path she new was set for her. Of course my friend was right there with me introducing me to everyone I needed to know. That Single Parents group took me in and loved on me (if you are from the South you understand what that term means). They lifted my spirits and where there to support me spiritually during my pregnancy – it was the best decision I had made.

Now flash to last Saturday when I mentioned to Shelby that we might go to IBC on Sunday. Her little face lit up and she was so excited. You see to Shelby IBC was the only church she had ever known until we became Lutheran. She started rattling off names of people she may see there and I quickly had to tell her it had been sometime and we where going to night service so she wasn’t disappointed when she didn’t see the owners of the private school she attended or some of her friends she had know since birth.

When we walked through the door she quickly started pointing things out to JAG – little did she know that JAG had already received the grand tour (well at least the commons and the sanctuary). You see I had a long talk with JAG a few months ago which lead to a compromise that I could go back to the place I used to call home. I have to tell you, I have brought many people through those church doors, but I was never as nervous as I was bringing JAG to IBC for the first time. Would he see what I saw? Would he feel the same overwhelming feelings? Would he get lost in the stain cement floors? Would he think I was just getting caught up in the music and the coffee bar and not seeing that there wasn’t much more? I was scared. I just knew that my well versed in all thing religious husband would pick apart IBC piece by piece from the almost stadium seating to the pastor – whom I adore – and JAG has still not seen yet. I was relieved when JAG didn’t do any such thing. Now he did have a few comments, but other then that I think he was surprised – the love for IBC is contagious (either that or he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings).

I got my Irving Bible Church fix a few months ago and I thought I would be ok, but if felt it creeping on again last week – my need for big, my need for contemporary, my need for home. Please don’t get me wrong I love the church I am in now, but it’s hard to not miss home, don’t you agree?

You see I was raised in a big church environment. The Assembly of God church my grandparents were a part of was HUGE and it was perfect for a girl with ADD. There was music and dancing and a pastor who paced the stage (it was too huge to be a pulpit) placing just the right consonant emphases to keep me tuned in, but they also had speaking in tongues and other things that now a days I don’t really care for – but that was home when I was younger. That is where I bonded with my Meme, she was so proud to have me there with her on the days I remembered to wear panty hose with my skirts.

There are huge benefits in a large church, at least I think so. There is opportunity for involvement there just as much as a small church, but at the same time you can sneak into service and not be noticed – which some days I prefer to. I enjoy the peacefulness of getting lost in service and not having to think about what is going on behind the scenes – that probably doesn’t make since to you – actually as I type I am not sure if that is exactly the feeling, but I do love not knowing the person who is sitting behind me. At the same time I will say again, I love the family feeling of my current church – I don’t want anyone to think I am leaving – I am just compromising.

I want to best of both worlds. I want my small Lutheran Church and I also want my large non-denominational church. I foresee drives back to IBC every Sunday night and possibly some women’s bible study on Tuesdays in the fall. Can’t I have both? Please tell me if there is a rule somewhere that says I can’t have both – I don’t do well with rule breaking.

My hope is to gain knowledge from both levels with a little and share that knowledge with others – maybe you.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for reading my blog. I love hearing from you, please leave comments below!