Thursday, May 19, 2011


I follow Joyce Meyer on Facebook, yeap we are friends! Tuesday her post hit home.

“Satan gains more ground in the believer's life through unforgiveness than any other thing, so be sure you let go of all offense and pray for those who have hurt you.
It may be hard, but it is the best thing you can do for yourself and the kingdom of God. Don’t stay angry at anyone today because it will hurt you more than it hurts them.”

I have difficulty forgiving one person in my life and you will be surprised that it’s not who you think it is. I have worked very hard and forgiven someone who hurt me badly – someone I trusted who betrayed me, but I will not forget. That person is fine, but I still struggle daily with forgiving this person below.

Yeap, myself three years ago, you seen back then not only did I have questionable hair, but I was rebelling against everything possible. I didn’t listen to the counsel of my parents or my friends, I stopped attending church and was on a downward spiral that ended one year later. In that year’s time I went crazy – my mother and I agree I was not in my right mind. I did many things that were not wise including purchasing a home that has become such a pain for me. I put my trust in someone who was so addicted to meth that there was no saving him, but I was going to fight tooth and nail to save him even though I was loosing myself in the process.

I am happy that I came out of it, but I still struggle on almost a daily basis to forgive myself for that year. I was the essence for co-dependence. I was so not what I am today, actually that girl then makes me want to scream. I could just shake her, she was so stupid!

On the bright side that year I used to help someone else. Once I was out of the darkness I had a conversation with someone who was going through the same exact thing. I don’t remember every word I told her, but I don’t believe I sugar coated anything and then I told her I would pray for her. That one comment – I will pray for you – helped her and changed her path. She emailed me out of the blue last week to tell me thank you. I did that yet I still struggle with the memory of what I was. I must get over it and I working on it and praying for it everyday.

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