Friday, February 25, 2011

Feeling More Like Me Again

It is amazing how one little pill twice a day could take me from the walking zombie about to spew to me. Oh how I loving feeling like myself again – just a bit. Actually me and a bit of Dolly Parton – if you have lived you a first trimester you understand what I mean – the sistas are huge – sorry if that is TMI. I have gained eight pounds and a swear seven pounds of that are boobs.

Besides that life is good. Life is really really good like too good to be true. I may just be slightly too hormonal right now, but I really do not think that life as ever been this good at least for me.

The other day on the treadmill I had an awakening – a thought popped in my head that I never really sat and thought about before. This – my marriage, my pregnancy, my life right now – is probably the first time I have ever done something that everyone agreed with – that everyone was excited about. I spent most of my twenties and one awful year of my 30s doing things people didn’t agree with. It was my lot in life to go against the grain. I know I drove my parents crazy doing the opposite of everything they wished for me. I excelled at it – I excelled at the drama. I excelled at making my life one whirl wind catastrophe after another.

Now in my thirty-third year while expecting my second baby I am so relaxed with the lack of drama in my life. I am not saying that I don’t get loud and dramatic – just ask my husband, but I love the peace of doing things that are right because I truly want to do them. As much as I loved doing what people never expected of me in my twenties I love being exactly the way I should be in my thirties.

I love waking up each morning content with my life due to the love and grace shown by God and the love I receive from my husband. The secure feeling of knowing that Shelby’s laughs are real and she is happiest girl in all the world right now. Things are so good and I am so blessed to have been through my desert, so I can now truly appreciate every morning.

Some may understand this feeling and to that I pass along a little nod. For those of you who don’t have it yet it will come I promise it will come. Keep your head up keep looking forward. I am so glad I did.

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