Saturday, December 18, 2010

The Hardest Part

Last week I wrote a blog about Divorce – you may have read it. I shared with you how hard it is on Shelby sometimes.

To be honestly lately, it had been hard on me. Not being divorced, but shipping my daughter off every other weekend or more. I don’t like it. I want her with me. She is mine mine mine – sorry needed a moment.

I don’t know if it is just the Holidays approaching or the fact that I am again angry about the way my x-husband is in regards to Shelby, but I really have some strong thinking to do.

This relationship with my x-husband is her decision to make. She can say when she is done spending time at his house. Oh…am so bighting my tongue right now – I really try my hardest not to slam this situation every time something goes bad, but that also has gotten so hard.

As a mother I want to protect her mentally and physically. I worry more about her heart then her asthma some days.

I am completely rambling right now. I guess I just wanted to say that it is so hard for this mother to give up her daughter so often to someone who I am not sure understands just how awesome this little girl is.

I have been holding on to this, but I think this is the best place to post it. This was share with our congregation a few weeks ago and since then it on my nightstand and on my desk at work.

Today

I will not worry
I will not be afraid
I will not give way to anger
I will not yield to envy, jealousy, and hatred
I will be kind to every man, woman, child with whom I come in contact
I will be cheerful and hopeful
I will trust in God and bravely face the future.
~George L. Perin

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