Monday, October 11, 2010

Knowing What I was Missing Before

I was planning an writing on this topic anyway today, but then I read- as I do each morning – NieNie. I am telling you now that if you are not reading her you need to – really…remember this post I did about her here?

Each Monday Stephanie does a NieNie asks segment on blogher and today she asked “What Make You Lucky?” Oh it was perfect!!!!

What makes me Lucky is knowing what I was missing before…

Before I was blessed with a beautiful daughter.
Before I met JAG.
Before I experience what a true, loving, healthy and respectful relationship feels like.
Before I put God before anything else in my life.
Before I was able to take pictures like this…

I keep no secrets about how lucky I feel to be where I am today. I just want to tell that one reader who I am not sure if I know in person or not that he will come. I still think back to that Valentine’s weekend where I sat alone in my house. No Shelby, no big Valentines date – just me, some wine and some chick flicks. During that weekend I made things right in myself. I looked around and said “I am fine right here. If God chooses to not bring anyone to continue my life with I will be perfectly fine right here”. Then of course I said “Please please God. Ok ok…it is in your hands”. I was done with dating. I was content being single – it was a hell of a lot easier then dealing with the loser market of men that came my way. Most of you know how the story goes – a chance email check which lead to a website which lead to a picture of a man which lead me to read his story. Which in that exact moment I knew, cheesy as it may sound, that the big man upstairs said, “you needed to go through what you did, so that you would be ready. You are ready, so here he is.” Well, probably not in those exact words.

I am lucky in that respect. I used to pull my hair out when people would say, “maybe if you take a break from looking he will come to you”. My statement was always, “the next one will be the one…I know it”. That never happened.  I know all of my single readers will cringe when I say find peace within you. Love you and where you are on this exact minute. I am not Dr. Ruth – is she a love doctor or a sex doctor – anyway I am neither, but I do know that I would not have been able to even if I had met JAG before to be where I am if I did not find comfort in being single, step back, and put it in God’s hands. Also enjoy your time. The quiet time to read a book or watch whatever you want to watch on TV or to dance in the kitchen to anything you want. To do those things that us girls do when no one is at home – like spend an hour in front of the mirror removing blackheads – oh wait that might just be me. I also talk to myself… a lot – is that being alone or crazy? Anyway, take the time to enjoy your space before you do this with your life.

My stuff stacked in JAG’s garage.

Don’t get me wrong – I am ecstatic about my move and my starting of a new life and family. I wish I could hug every one of my single readers and friends. I understand what it was like, I was there. My hope is that you will feel what I am feeling now – because I appreciate it so much more then I would have a year ago – for that I am lucky.

 For my lovely reader who asked here is the start of my cross wall. Gweedo, the first husband, would never let me have one – I won’t go into why, but I didn’t even have to ask JAG.

He (JAG) did correct the order of my Faith Hope Love crosses though – what would I do without him – my crosses would be all wrong.

No go visit Stephanie’s blog the Nienie dialogues and check her link to blogher to read what makes others Lucky!

3 comments:

  1. Love your blog today! Although I feel you should not use 'lucky' as your word, but BLESSED...just saying, since you truly are....blessed that is!
    loving blessings to you! ~~ MCF

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  2. Very sweet post. I followed you from the BlogHer links and am so happy to have found someone else who shares a *new* post and is not just linking to something old to get eyeballs. :D

    Just wanted to say, thanks for sharing something so touching.

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  3. I think this is one of my favorite posts that you have ever done. Actually, I believe I will print it out and keep it with me. Like I said, your blog is such an inspiration to me. Your wall of crosses is beautiful and thank you for taking the time to share it with us as well as your life. I have to agree with the other poster that you are not lucky, but "BLESSED"

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