Friday, August 13, 2010

Pleasant Words are a Honeycomb

Pic really has nothing to do with this post. It's just Shelby on the 1st day of 1st grade...about that time again!

Two years ago I had a co-worker purchase and ship from New York a book called Smart Women Foolish Choices. I was so offended by that book that I never took it off the bookshelf- it is still there today. I thought “how dare she send me that. I don’t make foolish choices”. Looking back she was so right to send me that and it took some nerve to do it, but it also took care.

Today if you ask me what book I would send to a dear girl friend. It would be one of these three:

The Bible (I prefer NIV)

Now, next year these may change, but for the past year these three have been tops for me.

Lately, there have been incidents and conversations that have led me back to Elizabeth George’s book A Woman After God’s Own Heart. There is one point that she discuss in two different situations in this book. Let me start by sharing with you snip-its of her book.

In the chapter, A Heart That Loves, Part II, George states “I have very few ‘nevers’ in my life, but one primary ‘never’ is never speak critically or negatively about our husband to anyone. I try instead to practice the wise advice of a dear and godly saint at our church. Loretta smiles and sweetly coos, ‘Ladies, never pass up an opportunity to bless your husband in public.’ (And I would add don’t forget to bless him to his face as well!)”

In Motherly Affection, Part II, Georges ties this concept into motherhood by saying, “A loving mother whose heart is quiet never broadcasts any harmful or critical information, not anything general and specific about her children.” She goes on to describe two friends one who always pointed out publicly the negative aspect of her children like “teenage years are awful” and another who would sate things like, “oh 8, that was a great year.”

So I hear you saying “What does this have to do with the price of rice in China?” I used to have a Junior High teacher ask me that all the time.

First off, this is in public. This does not mean that shouldn’t have one or two close friends (preferably who share your same values) that you can talk to when going through relationship struggles.

I think in today’s society of facebook and twitter we should all be aware of the statements we make regarding our children and our spouses. Don’t call me a hypocrite, I am pointing back at myself.

I have done very well not advertising every bump in the road between me and JAG during our relationship. That is I have worked on it and I still stop myself. Just yesterday there was an incident that occurred and I found myself starting to type into my Facebook status bar what was happening. Then, I stopped and thought, “Remember what Elizabeth says.”

In the blogging world this is how writers can appear “fake” or only sharing “the good things.” I hope to find a middle ground. I hope to not spend this school year criticizing Shelby’s abilities in school, but instead sharing her achievements. I think the worst feeling is that of being a disappointment in any way to your parents- Shelby is far from this…fyi.

What I hope you get from this is to think how the person on the other end of that post would feel especially if it is your spouse or your children. Those people are your forever, they are going to be there until the end, and we need to treat them that way. Again…I am talking to myself as much as I talking to anyone else.

Also, I hope when you are browsing through the book store that you might go by and pick up one of these books. Elizabeth George’s husband Jim also wrote the book a Husband After God’s Own Heart.

Lastly, I really do hope that you do not think this post is any way me thinking I am better then anyone or that I am being fake. This is something that has been weighing on me for sometime and this week has hit home during my use of the common social networks.

Proverbs 16:21-24 (New International Version)

21 The wise in heart are called discerning,
       and pleasant words promote instruction.
22 Understanding is a fountain of life to those who have it,
       but folly brings punishment to fools.
23 A wise man's heart guides his mouth,
       and his lips promote instruction.
24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb,
       sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.


  1. if there was an icon to say LOVE IT! I would use that icon now.
    Truly a discerning post. thank you

  2. Thank you for the posting. As soon as I read it I started looking for the Elizabeth George book in the Church Bookstore Sunday. I didn't get the one you mentioned because I was led to another one. I picked up "A Woman's Walk with God" about growing in the Fruit of the Spirit. There are areas in my life that the book talks about that I need a major overhaul in. Namely, patience, gentleness, and self control! Congratulations on your engagement and upcoming marriage. I pray that the both of you have a wonderful and blessed marriage.


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